Peanut butter mattresses.

You ever try to make a peanut butter sandwich when there’s just the smallest amount of the stuff left in the container? Maybe that tiny bit you can dig out from around the lip of the jar? And you try to cover a whole piece of bread with that tiny amount of stuff. You do it because you’re hungry. You do it because it’s all you have left.

So, you spread it.
You spread it thin.


Hi. My name is X, and I am peanut butter.

If you frequent the right part of the Internet – you know, first ad to the right, straight on till mourning – I am inescapable. Articles, podcasts, chat rooms, name it. I’m there. On the average, I make between six and eight podcast appearances per month. That’s a lot! Preparing for those podcasts means that I watch between three and four movies for just about every show. That takes time. It’s not always time I have to spare, but I make it.

There are other things I want to do, things I have an overwhelming desire to do.
Those things take time, and they require that I do two things I am not good at.

The first thing is “letting go.”

As of June 30th, I will stepping down as co-host of the Cinema Beef Podcast, and I will be stepping away from the panel on the Not So Evil Episodes Podcast. I am also putting the Six and a Half Feet Under Podcast on indefinite hiatus. The hosts of those shows, Gary Hill and Mike Maryman respectively, have been utterly gracious to me during my runs with them and I have nothing but good things to say about them and thanks for them. I also don’t expect them to wait for me to come back. I fully expect to be replaced on both shows, and wish nothing but continued success for everyone involved with them.

The second thing is “saying no.”

I love to talk with people about horror, so much so that it’s difficult for me to turn down a guest spot. It’s not an insatiable ego. It’s not the desire to hear my own voice. It’s because it’s fun. But the time has come where I’m going to have to refrain from that. I will fulfill any booking I’ve already made, or any promise I’ve already made to a host (I’ve still got a lot Fulci to discuss with Duncan McLeish), but I’m going to reject other offers.

I have a book to finish.
I have ideas for stories that pound on my brain daily, demanding to be told.
I’m keeping Kiss the Goat going, and I have two new podcast projects I will be involved with that I’m quite excited about.
And I have a family, kids that aren’t really kids anymore, growing up and getting ready to move on with their own lives. And when that time comes, I’ll have a cool wife to hang out with. Empty nests and new phases. Those sorts of things.

There’s a phrase they use in The Godfather that I have always loved. When the Corleone family starts a mob war, they go into hiding. They call it, “going to the mattresses.” It is a time of hunkering down. They’re still around, of course. Their presence is still felt. They’re still working, planning, doing what they do. They just aren’t as public about it.

I’m going to the mattresses. I’m estimating this will be until December. It may be longer.

Like the Corleone family, I’ll still be around. I’ll be finishing this book for you. We’ll still be mocking everything that’s holy (and unholy) on Kiss the Goat. I’ll be producing a new podcast for the pop culture website, Popshifter. And I have a Sekret Projekt I’m working on, a podcast, that will probably launch around August. If that sounds like a lot, believe me. It’s nothing compared to what I was doing before. I think about that schedule, and it feels like a vacation.

I’ll be around, though. We’ll talk before December, I’m sure. Don’t you worry about me.
I’m working just as hard to entertain you.

I’ll just be doing it more quietly.


Credit for the peanut butter jar picture goes to the Kiss My Broccoli blog.

Peanut butter mattresses.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s